The "Self" Cult
"It would be well for us all to remember that every person is pitiably poor — until they are rich in faith, and rich toward God." ~ J.C. Ryle
This quotes flies in the face of our culture as they try to boost the "self" at every opportunity. J.C. Ryle is saying that we are poor, destitute, and worthless without Christ. The "self" craze is not something new, considering Eve was tempted "to be like God," way back in the Garden. (Genesis 3) We are all prone to think MORE of ourselves and LESS of God and others. The Greatest Commandment is love God and others AS yourself. (Mark 12:30) This is the daily battle Jesus is talking about when He tells us to deny ourselves. The problem we deal with today is that most of the churches have become so psychologized that they buy into the "self" movement too. Self-esteem, self-love, self-forgiveness are regarded as truth in the pulpit!
Let us take off the cultural blinders and see life through the lens of Scripture. The Church must begin to define themselves by the Bible instead of the culture! Paul's attitude about himself was that he was "a wretched sinful man!" (Romans 7:24) Paul new the reality of himself as the holiness of God shined on his wicked heart. That is why Paul was so joyful of the sacrifice of Christ as the grace of God was poured out on him. Paul knew he was a Great sinner, yet he was full of joy because he knew that Christ was an even Greater Savior! Let us lose ourselves as we are in awe of God's glory!
A Godly Husband
“The husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church.” (Ephesians 5:23, GWT) Paul compares the husband’s role in marriage with Christ’s role to the church.
In understanding the husbands role, let’s look at how Christ led the church. God’s Word tells us, “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:5-8, NIV) Christ being God, made Himself nothing, and became a servant. The word for servant in the Greek literally means slave! Christ became a slave, and died for His Church! Christ sacrificed everything for the Church because it is what brought glory to the Father.
Just as Christ sacrificed everything for the church, husbands are called to selflessly give their all to their wives. This means putting your wife’s interest above your own. This means being willing to serve your spouse even if you don’t feel like it. It also means we are to lead our wives spiritually.
Here are some practical ways to follow Christ's example:
Initiate a time to read the Bible with your wife.
Pray with your wife.
Share what God is teaching you with your wife.
Plan a date night that your wife would enjoy.
Help your wife with some of her household chores.
The Gospel Frees Us From Ourselves!
"The gospel isn't what you need to do to make yourself more happy. It is what Christ has done to free you from such self-centeredness." Elyse Fitzpatrick
What is your initial reaction to this quote? It seems so contradictory to the church culture we live in today. It seems wrong to say that the Gospel isn't supposed to make me happy! I can turn on the TV and listen to tele-evangelist tell me all day that God wants me to be financially prosperous, live in a mansion, and drive the car of my dreams! Plus, God wants me to have the best marriage, and perfect children. This is the message many hear on TV, in their churches, and what is talked about amongst many Christian circles. This theology sells because it plays on what we already want before we come to Christ. I am programmed from the womb to think, focus, act in my world as if I was at the center. I want this, I need that, I wish I could have this or that...and if God will give me what I want than I will be on His team because He is my Cosmic Santa Claus who gives me whatever I want! No one would say it that way, but isn't that what is going on?
The problem with this theology is that it places us as "god" instead of God! This was the temptation that caused the world to fall into sin in the first place. Satan said to Eve, "for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:5, NIV) We still want to be god instead of follow and submit to the True God! Adam and Eve aren't the only ones who struggle with this, it is hereditary, in our natural nature. It is actually against our nature to follow God, listen to Paul when he says, the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God Laws; indeed, it cannot." (Romans 8:7, ESV) This where we all start before Christ draws us to Himself.
The Gospel is not for our happiness because it frees us from the selfishness that continues to draw us back into our old life before Christ changed us. We were in bondage, controlled by Satan, and under the wrath of God! (Ephesians 2:1-3) The Gospel breaks the bondage of the flesh and strips Satan of his power over us. As the Holy Spirit empowers us to follow God by His eternal grace! The Gospel gives us the ability to Live for God's glory instead of our own! We become His children, heirs of God's Kingdom. May we continue to be in awe of God's glory and die to our own!
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"The gospel isn't what you need to do to make yourself more happy. It is what Christ has done to free you from such self-centeredness." Elyse Fitzpatrick
What is your initial reaction to this quote? It seems so contradictory to the church culture we live in today. It seems wrong to say that the Gospel isn't supposed to make me happy! I can turn on the TV and listen to tele-evangelist tell me all day that God wants me to be financially prosperous, live in a mansion, and drive the car of my dreams! Plus, God wants me to have the best marriage, and perfect children. This is the message many hear on TV, in their churches, and what is talked about amongst many Christian circles. This theology sells because it plays on what we already want before we come to Christ. I am programmed from the womb to think, focus, act in my world as if I was at the center. I want this, I need that, I wish I could have this or that...and if God will give me what I want than I will be on His team because He is my Cosmic Santa Claus who gives me whatever I want! No one would say it that way, but isn't that what is going on?
The problem with this theology is that it places us as "god" instead of God! This was the temptation that caused the world to fall into sin in the first place. Satan said to Eve, "for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:5, NIV) We still want to be god instead of follow and submit to the True God! Adam and Eve aren't the only ones who struggle with this, it is hereditary, in our natural nature. It is actually against our nature to follow God, listen to Paul when he says, the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God Laws; indeed, it cannot." (Romans 8:7, ESV) This where we all start before Christ draws us to Himself.
The Gospel is not for our happiness because it frees us from the selfishness that continues to draw us back into our old life before Christ changed us. We were in bondage, controlled by Satan, and under the wrath of God! (Ephesians 2:1-3) The Gospel breaks the bondage of the flesh and strips Satan of his power over us. As the Holy Spirit empowers us to follow God by His eternal grace! The Gospel gives us the ability to Live for God's glory instead of our own! We become His children, heirs of God's Kingdom. May we continue to be in awe of God's glory and die to our own!
What is the condition of your marriage?
The seeds that we are planting in our marriages today will mature into fruit or weeds tomorrow.
What is fruit? Good fruits in your marriage begins with a heart sold out for Christ. You must be controlled by the Holy Spirit to live a life that will produce godly fruit. “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.” How patient are you with your spouse? When is the last time you served your wife/husband for no reason? Are you building your spouse up by the encouraging words?
What are weeds? Wicked weeds are what you produce naturally if you are not walking with Christ. You are more focused on getting your agenda accomplished than loving God or your spouse. “The acts (weeds) of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like.” How often are you fighting with your spouse? When is the last time you looked at someone other than your spouse with lust? Are you harboring anger and frustration towards your spouse?
What are weeds? Wicked weeds are what you produce naturally if you are not walking with Christ. You are more focused on getting your agenda accomplished than loving God or your spouse. “The acts (weeds) of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy, drunkenness, orgies, and the like.” How often are you fighting with your spouse? When is the last time you looked at someone other than your spouse with lust? Are you harboring anger and frustration towards your spouse?
Fruit or Weeds are growing in your marriage all the time. Good fruit takes time and energy to cultivate as you surrender your heart to the Lord individually and as a couple. But weeds grow effortlessly in your marriages when you react, and work in your own strength. Are you planting seeds that will turn into weeds or spiritual fruit that will last for eternity?
Why Biblical Counseling?
- Biblical counseling is based on God’s Word. Secular counseling is based on a variety of human theories that may or may not coincide with God’s Word.
- Secular counseling emphasizes high self-esteem and following your heart. Biblical counseling highlights that humanity is to glorify God, and enjoy Him forever. Biblical counseling says that we need to follow God, instead of our deceitful heart.
- Secular counseling aims to help you become more effective for society or to at least make you feel better about yourself. Biblical counseling trains us to love God and others instead of self, which leads to radical heart change for true life and true joy.
- Secular counselors are trained to counsel based on relative truths of the day. Biblical counselors are trained to lovingly counsel with absolute truth, God’s Word. It is the truth that sets you free.
Revealing Your Foundation
What do you talk about the most?
How do you handle life’s struggles?
What would your spouse say you are most passionate about?
How we answer these questions reveals what is number one in our hearts! What takes first place in our lives shows our foundation. What kind of foundation have we invested in? Is your foundation reliable and strong or faulty and weak?
Christ tells us that "everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash," -Matthew 7:24-27.
We can build a solid foundation in Christ alone. He will give us the real hope we need to withstand whatever trials may come our way. God builds an eternal foundation in our hearts that will never fall in times of trouble because God carries us through them! We learn not to rely on our own ingenuity or ability, but on God who works mightily through us as we depend on Him. He is preparing His children for eternity. So let us read God’s Word and live it out daily, knowing the only secure foundation is found in Christ alone.
We See What We Want
“All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit.” --Proverbs 16:2, ESV
What does this passage say about humanity?
We naturally have a skewed view toward our own ways of thinking and acting. We will look at our own bad actions, and often give numerous reasons (excuses) for the ungodly behavior exhibited. This happens in marriage all the time. We naturally give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. For example, I can give my wife five reasons why I say something hurtful to her. Some of these excuses include being tired, hungry, sick, tough day at the office, and my her (wife’s) attitude. All five of these reasons ignore the real culprit, which is ME! The Bible says that “out of the abundance or overflow of the heart the mouth speaks!” (Matthew 12:34) What I say is actually a reflection of what is in my heart.
What does this passage say about God?
God does not label people on a whim. God’s judgement is pristinely accurate because He looks beyond or below appearances, past the personalities, and goes right to the heart of who we are. God sees the core of who we are. We are fully exposed to the eternal God of the universe. We can’t trick or fool Him because God knows us better than we can ever know ourselves. What a sobering thought to recognize that God can see the inner being of who we are all the time. We can’t run or hide from God, we must continue to confess, repent, and depend on the Holy Spirit to change us from the inside out. Thanks be to His grace as He continues to shape us for His glory on honor.
Is Jesus your life?
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